Did you know that I...

...LOVE STATS?

(I do)

Friends update...Texticles Mk ii

Does anyone remember this post from a while back:

Texticles
So, I have a new way to gage popularity.I stumbled accross the text counters on my mobile and the results are in...Sent messages = 1109Received messages = 1136Therefore 25 people like me more than I like them...FACT!Now for some fascinating stats! I have had my phone, I reckon about 15 months. Therefore I have sent an average of 92.41 texts per month (23.10 per week) and received 94.66 per month (23.66 per week).So we can summise that an average of half a person likes me more per week than I like them.Hurrah for me.

Well, I thought it was time for an update to see how my popularity has moved on.

Sent messages = 1598
Received messages = 1715

Therefore 117 people like me more than I like them...FACT!

And the stats update...I have had my phone for about 19 months therefore I have:
Sent an average of 84.11 texts per month (21.03 per week)
Received an average of 90.26 texts per month (22.57 per week)
So an average of 1 and a half people like me more per week than I like them.

Interesting isn't it? I am sending 2 less texts per week than before, so perhaps don't like two people any more? I am receiving 1.1 less texts per week, so perhaps 1.1 people have decided not to be my friend? Still, I am .9 of a person up so I don't care!

DISCLAIMER: I like everyone and therefore these stats are meant for amusement and educational purposes only and to show the pointlessness of stats!

Fine off!

Is anyone else getting a bit sick of fines?

I am getting a bit sick of fines.

Yesterday I got a £20 penalty for not having a train tricket. TWENTY POUNDS! I had got the train from London Road to Moulsecoomb as I was going to work. I was running late and the stupid new ticket machine refused my money, it just kept spitting my pound out. I hate the new machines anyway, they are far less effecient and take far longer than the old ones and by the time I had found the right ticket and it refused my coin the train arrived.

I hopped on.

The ticket inspector was busy so I couldn't get one from him and 2 minutes later we arrived at Moulsecoomb.

I disembarked.

There, waiting by the exit, were three burly inspectors, who looked more like bouncers. I explained why I didn't have a ticket but they had none of it and issued the fine anyway. Given the return ticket costs £1.45, £20 seems a little unjustified? Thats the equivilant of paying for nearly 14 of that journey!

The other big finer are banks. Over my three years at Uni, I have suffered their fate a few times when money ran short at the end of a month and a DD bounced or whatever. I know this is a big issue in the media at the moment, and rightly so - they are fucks. Once I was fined over £200 by Abbey because a few things bounced and they charge you £35 for each one then fines for going over your overdraft then fines for the sake of fines and up it mounts. That means, inevitably, the next month you are short of cash and run into the same problem again. Abbey made over £630 million profit last year and they still think its acceptable to rob their customers like that. YES WE ARE YOUR CUSTOMERS REMEMBER!


So my main beef with fines is that its basically treating you like a kid. No room for explainations, no room for taking individual circumstances into account and certainly no proportionate system of fines. Go a pound overdrawn - £30 fine. Go a billion pounds over - £30 fine.

What gives a company the right to fine someone? They are not the Police or the government or a law maker. They are just profiteering corporations who see a chance to extorte more money from their clients. We keep these services and businesses afloat and yet they seek to punish us when we make the odd honest mistake.

Now would I get away with issuing a fine?

"Excuse me Southern Rail, I bought a train ticket from London to Brighton and as your too tight to invest in rolling stock, I had to stand all the way as the train was so crowded. It was also hot, stuffy and generally badly kept. That will be a £30 fine please."

You would have no chance and to seek such compensation would mean expense and personal risk through the courts. So how has this unjust and unbalanced system been allowed? Why can a business that makes a fortune fine individuals who rarely make a fortune, but not the other way around.

I resent being told off and punished at the tender age of 27, thats why I no longer live with my parents!

Needless to say I always write a strongly worded letter to complain about any fines and I sometimes get it back, but sometimes I don't. It pisses me right off how much companies are allowed to exploit the general public.

Its not even as if you get a fine that is a fair amount. If the train people made me pay twice my fare for example, £3.00, they would make their point, make more money than they would have if I had got my ticket and I would know that it would potentially cost me double to not buy a ticket in the future.

Banks charges are even worse. £35 for a failed direct debit. How does that work? The bank does not loose any money as they don't pay it. Their automated computer system is notified there is not the money to cover the payment and rejects it. An automated letter is then issued and the computer automatically charges you the next month. They say the £35 is to cover costs, but its not - its a fine and a penalty and a punishment for breaking the rules that they establish and do not let you have a say in. Fines that boost their profits nicely thank you very much.

I did some digging around and the banks were asked to explain their charges to a tribunal thing. They said it was a parly estimated cost as it turns out, they calculate the cost of all their debt busting activities. This includes issuing balifs, claiming money from businesses, customers going over their limits, unpaid DD's - everything to do with that side of money collections. They then apportion this to the customers by a sort of guess, so that all the fines paid over a year will cover the cost of all their debt busting antics. So that means the average bank customer is no doubt funding the bank to chase businesses who owe them cash or bankrupts and all that. If its a charge for the cost of the customers error, surely it should be calculated exactly, which, given its all automated, should equal about a pence. I even recall when a BT direct debit bounced and Abbey fined me, but BT didn't. So the company who didn't get their cash did nothing but the bank who didn't loose anything or do anything made a £35 profit off the back of it.

Fuckers.

Give me a p...P, give me an a...A, give me a v...V, give me a k...K whadyagot?

Check it:
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1330093.0.new_superpark_to_replace_clogged_road.php

Finally the council may have come to their senses about their not being enough green space in this city!

Huzzah.

The only downside is that they have started to think about it before I got to write a moaning letter to everyone's favourate David Lepper MP. I haven't written him for ages and I know he misses it, going to have to think of a new topic now.

Shame we will have to wait till 2010 if they decide to go ahead!

My book intro, a name and stuff like that!

Whatcha!

Well, my hand in is 4 weeks today. Scared, stressed, me...never ;)

In fact I am rather up against it to get everything done! Whilst the shooting is all complete, printers and book binders etc need crazy amounts of time to do simple jobs!!! Hence I need to make my final edit of images rather snappy. A problem really as editing photos is my weak point as I like too many! Plus I have taken about 110 films for this project, thats 1100 photographs. I need a maximum of 20 for the final selection so I am trying to whittle it down to about 2% of all the photos I have taken!

Anyway, I have been thinking about the introduction to the book, which will be a little blurb by me about whats it all aboot. Want to read my first draft? OK:


This project started out as an investigation into the English landscape, how it reflected our national identity and how this island is often portrayed in a similar light time and again through picturesque aesthetics or the classic chocolate box view of the country side.
Whilst researching possible locations for the work I came across a number of surveys about the publics favorite tourist attractions in Britain. One survey, commissioned by Lexmark and published in March 2006 asked people for their top UK landmark.

The places suggested by the public were intriguing and the list varied from iconic British monuments such as Stonehenge to more recent creations like the Angel of the North and the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. I found the survey fascinating and the top ten locations, as voted for in the poll, spoke more to me about our national identity, our view of the landscape and modern Britain than many of the locations I had already photographed.

Each of the landmarks had been chosen for specific reasons, some were places ingrained in our visual consciousness as symbolizing Britain or British values. Others suggested a more modern country and what we now consider to be a symbol of our identity at this point in history.

However, there were several common factors – they are all places which are visually reproduced in countless publications, memorabilia, photographs or postcards. They each had specific connotations about Britain, whether the White Cliffs of Dover and their link to World War II or the Eden Project and its associations with an eco-conscious population. And perhaps above all, I could instantly recall an image of each of the ten to my mind.

I was interested in the tourist experience of visiting the landmarks, how people behave and experience the sites, what people took photographs of, how the locations would be remembered and how more often than not it was a small handful of similar images that were always chosen to portray the sites. But is there not more to these landmarks? If we side step the pre-marked tourist paths, watch other peoples interaction with the space and try to get under the skin of them – would they not speak volumes about not only the British landscape but also what it was to be British and how we, or others, choose to represent ourselves?

The following images are my response to traveling the country and viewing the landmarks from my own perspective and trying to detach myself from the usual tourist experience so I could observe them in a more holistic manner. Not only are these landmarks interesting because they were selected from thousands of choices as being the top ten in the country but also because they symbolize Britain. I hope the photographs challenge the normal and perhaps expected facade of each place, but also suggest something different about our culture, heritage and landscape.

Any comments or feedback would be gratefully received! Its probably a bit hard without seeing the photos...BUT TRY! This country.

Also I have two more requests. They are as follows:

1) Anyone who wants to help me with my edit is more than welcome! I can show you my short list and you can tell me what you think
2) I need a sodding title! So far I am thinking of quite obvious ones like Landmark or Landmarks. But there are other options to do with tourism etc like photo opportunity or please stick to the paths or something. I am struggling for ideas so anything you think of, please let me know!

Cheers!

Diaries of a photographer (and a van)...Part 12

05/04/07 (End of the tax year!!!):

10:20 - I am on the beach! Tried to have a bit of a lye in this morning, but it didn't really happen. Had the murmerings of a headache so figured a beach side stroll would sort me right out as its lovely, a beautiful morning indeed. It also struck me that technically I am on Easter holidays so I will take it a bit easier today as can't afford to destroy myself! Plus, it is actually quite hard work believe it or not! Lots of driving each day and usually 7 hours of photographing - intently concetrating on one thing. Its fun work, just a bit exhausting.

It struck me as I strolled, sand under hoof this morning, what a lucky fuck I am! I am fully getting to do what I love at the same time as touring the UK (or partly at least). Ever since I went to Australia I decided I wanted to travel round my own country and this taster session just proves to me what a great place we live in and makes me determined to do it one day.

So yesterday went really well. After the chopper excitement I drove around finding vantage points for the Angel from the roadside etc. At about hald 4 I was worn out but realised I needed postcards so I braved central Gateshead. Meandered down to the new Quayside and its lovely! A great new theatre venue, a better Millenium bridge than London and the icing on the cake - the Baltic Centre. A tate modernesque art gallery that is lovely. Saw an instillation by Brian Eno - a soundtrack and randomly cahnging slides digitally shown in cross shaped screens. Apparantly it would take 11 million years to see the same thing twice, so each time is unique.

I need a new journal! Just ran out of pages, so speak more later!

06/04/07:

11:52 - I made it to Edinburgh, the furthest point of my trip and the final landmark to shoot. To be honest its more like a glorified, fortified house on a rock than a castle. Its cool and all, but I don't think it would make the top spot on my list.
It was a bit of an ordeal yesterday in spite of my optomistic start! Took a long time to drive here and then spent hours getting lost driving round the city and trying to find a suitable campsite that would tkae us! Got there in the end though and staying at Morden Hall, a few miles outside the city centre. Its nice toi have facilities at my disposale and to get washed!

When I was finally in and set up it was getting on for 5 and I decided to walk to the city. Its a good hours march, a nice walk but hard going at times. I then got lost and tramped the streets for ages, before working out where I was and deciding to walk back again as I had no idea where to get a bus from! Got back to the Guf at about 9 absolutely shattered, but it was quite a jolly experience.

This morning I got a bus!

I think today is going to be tough, I am tired and feel quite ill, so its a true test of stamina and determination! Not quite sure how to 'do' the castle either as there are many an angle, position and view. Much walking I think! Need to go in the castle too, but was scared off by the queues!

15:33 - Just scoffed some life giving food and coffee in a park like area. I'm really hanging now! Its been a long week and I would be happy never to see half these landmarks again!

Been round the castle...massive it was. Not all that either! Far, far too many people and no really inspiring shots I don't think. Struggling a bit to find an approach to how to do Edinburgh, especially in an original way to the conventional shots or from being too similar to my images of elsewhere.

I feel like a bit of a landmark myself. So many people were watching me and talking aboiut me it got tiring and made me rather self-conciious of what I was doing. Add to that the fect everyone in the campsite seems fascinated by me and the Guf and I feel like an exhibit!
Going to sit for a bit then find some distance shots of the castle, really want to stop now but figure I need to put in a few more hours to crack it. Looking forward to chilling in the van with a beer later I can tell thee.

07/04/07 -

12:36 - The long journey hoem has begun! Left the campsite at bout half 11 to embark on the epic journey of truth!
LKets have the first of the days services review shall we?
ABINGTON WELCOME BREAK - fairly ordinary really. A coffee Primo which is a bit gypo, quite a small services without much appeal. Toilets were quite rubbish, not enough dryers. Lots of Celtic fans, but a nice view and outside picnic area! Staff friendly. Overall 5 on 10.
So I have finished shooting. 10 of the UK's top landmarks visited at least once and many of them twice or more. Despite the odd set back and bad mood, its been amazing. I am so happy I choose this project as it let me see a fair bit of the country and many areas I had never visited before but always wanted to. its interesting as I have wanted to do a project on solitude for ages. Shutting myself up in the middle of nowhere, with no outside contact and seeing what happened! I think these trips have showed me I wouldn't like it! Its odd not to really talk to people or spend time with anyone for a week, it is lovely at times but can feel lonely and isolating. Especially when going to tourist attracftions or beautiful places without Hannah and everyone is walking round arm in arm it can be a bit sad! Still, I wouldn't have been able to do it as well if someone was with me, but it has been a bit grueling at times and I have certainly missed her companionship!

The cold is annoying today. The sore throat has passed, but I am blowing my nose faster than you can say tissue. In fact, my tissue sticks may not last...GASP! Next stop, I will tell you what happened yesterday evening. Exciting.

13:48 - WELCOME BREAK: GRETNA GREEN - Wasn't Gretna Green the site of a historic Scots v English battle where the Scottish won for the only ever time? Services ok, modern and roomy, which is a bonus. Again toilets quite poor and basic. Shops no good, but they did have a Scot Shop, selling fine Scottish merchandise. Lovely stuff. Coffee Primo again, which dissapoints - but they had an outside area for nice days like today, innovative for a services. Lots of very fat people. Overall 5 on 10.
So I am almost at Carlisle and out of Scotland which aint bad. Kind of level with Newcastle but the other side of the country. Not even gonna calculate how much I have done and goit to go as it maybe too depressing. Plenty of stops going on as feeling a bit off with this head cold!

So yesterday, after doing the castle things were not good! I was feeling grotty and the castle was a real challenge to shoot. Plus I had just had enough, wanted a day off and to not to have to photograph a busy tourist hot spot any more.
But as I say on my bench eating, I thought of all I had done and how good this whole experience has been and was buggered if my last day shooting would marr the whole project! So I strolled on and found some interesting shots (I think) of the castle from the streets of Edinburgh. As soon as I started making pictures again my mood lifted and I felt more positive. Then, dunno why, I figured I would walk back to the campsite again and low and behold it sorted me right out. Took a route over a huge hill with the Royal Observatory on it and what a good view of the city - even got some shots of the castle as a spec ikn the distance. It was a lovely walk, saw a froggy 3some and all!

When I got back it felt most satisfying and I sat in the Guf, drank a badger Tangle Foot ale, read and listened to the radio - it was really chilled. Then I took a gamble of walking to a nearby settlement and got a chineese only 10 mins walk away. Bonus. It was nice and I got left overs for lunch!

It was a really chilled Friday night and a good end to the trip. Felt nice and rested for today and reflected most positively on all my missions. This morning I slept till nearly 9 and had a slow sort out for the journey. Bonza.

16:38 - MOTO M&S - LANCASTER (FORTON): Well designed as all Moto services are, good toilets including a few flowers. M&S and WH Smiths shops, first class. Cafe Ritazza, the second best. Staff quite indifferent. Rather uneventful Car Park and too many betting machines/shop in the services. Overall 6.5 on 10.

I came off the motorway and went thought the Lake District for a bit, otherwise my whole journey would have been on motorways and it was doing my head in.
Foolishly, I didn;t stop for lunch at the lakes but waited until I got here! Why? A few reasons 1) I am a foolish boy 2) I wouldn't be able to review the services! 3) I really, really needed a piss and nowhere at the lakes had toilets!
It was a good alternative route though and I enjoyed the view (whilst trying to ignore my baldder!). Drove up a mountain pass and everything. However, the lakes were a bit too picturesque, a bit samey and far, far too over crowded. I think this project has put me off anywehere where lots of people go! It just looks nasty and uninviting.
Probably my last stop before getting to Lydbrook for an overnight stop before going on to Brighton. Doing the full journey in 1 day would be suicide!
My trip is almost done - 1024 .35 miles so far for this leg! Ouch.

18:52 - MOTO M&S - FRANKLY: Not much to look at BUT - an upper level with food and toilets. Toilets great as had a central fountain like pedestal of sinks! Spacious interior and staff with brummy accents, can't ask for more than that! 7 on 10.
Near Worcester now and so nearly at journeys end. 1151.2 miles now done this week. I know I lied about the last stop being my last but I'm flagging now!
Now for some travel related items of interest:

• My research indicates most petrol stations hold up to 38,000 litres of fuel per tank! Thats alot. It takes abiout 40 litres fo fill the Guf so thats about 1000 guf fulls of fuel. it raises 2 (two) important questions. 1) How oiften does the station re-fill and 2) do they hve one tanker per type of fuel or is each tanker got sections with unleaded and diesel in them etc
• Blue tooth headsets for phones look stupid - like Robocop or something. Why not just ignore the phone? Stupid yuppies ;) I only tolerate them for professional drivers!
• There are more lorries up North than down South
• Service stations in the South all have coulders at their approach road. Those in the Midlands and up north do not...why?
• When ever I stop driving, my nose runs more. Why? Fumes?
• Pheasants are the most common type of roadkill.
• Some people drive too quick
• Keep 2 chevrons apart

Diaries of a photographer (and a van)...Part 11

02/04/07

14:44 - Ooop North! I've broken my record of furthest North in England by getting to Stafford area (what a Southerner!). Well, I have been to Glasgow, but thats Scotland so it don't count.
Stopped for lunch and discovered a nice services! M5 North (Stafford). Lovely stuff. The toilets glisten and have flowers and everything. the Midlands knows how to do services!
I think there are more lorries on the M6 than anyweher else in the world, bonkers.

Blackpool is the destination today, classy. Not sure I will have time to shoot it today so may just get there and park up. Blackpool Tower is 3rd on the list though - lucky Hannah got me to check as I thought it was the pleasure beach generally and that would be disaster to shoot the wrong place!
Quite excited about the Northern leg - a whole new world!

03/04/07:

10:38 - The smell of cheap dougnuts is wafting along Blackppol beach. This place is like Brighton gone wrong! An old school sea side resort properly stuck in time.
Stayed in a place called Clitheroe last night, 30 miles from Blackpool, but high on a hill overlooking the moors. Finding a nice spot nearer to Blackpool proved impossible, it was a nice stop though, amaziong views but a very early start due to a) joggers and b) a desire to get doine here and drive to Newcastle to stay this evening.

Donkeys, Donkeys everywhere. A man in a van is arguing with the donkey gang, brilliant.
Plan of attack today is to walk along 'the golden mile' shooting the geniusly tacky buildings and then go up the tower...get in!

11:58 - So I am guessing Blackpool is like our Vegas, just in a run down and more English way! Its tacky but done in a tacky way, not an over-the-top-so-gets-away-with-it style like Vegas.

Its a funny time to visit here as its out of season so everything is undergoing repair and 'improvement' for the summer. I think the strangest thing about the town is its all about the amusements, there really isn't much else here!
Done a good stint of walking the promenade and so its getting near to tower o'clock. Probablye xhausted photos of the tower in the background etc, but fairly condfident I have some interesting shots.
They drink beer early up here, I'll give 'em that. Plus everyone has a brilliant accent compared to down South and they all look harder than me!
Looking forward to my Blackpool fry up - bet it will rock!

12:36 - That's it - I have hit the pinacle of my trip! Sitting in the balcony at Blackpool Tower, over the ball room watching them dance! It is literally a scene from Peter Kay! Lots of serious couples dancing and a bloke on the stage playing a white organ! Nor just any organ though, this plays dances in a fairground stylee! Plus the player chats inbetween each tune, I think I could stay all day!
Alas, its too dark for photos in here I think.

13:36 - Back in the ballroom after a trip to the top - it was a good view and all but bad for photos! To be fair the inside of the Tower isn't all that. Kind of what you would imagine, so I best make sure my exterior shots are good enough as the ones inside certainly wont be!

14:15 - Fry up done - the mushrooms were 1st class.
Think my Blackpool trip is probably nearing its end. I am feeling rather knackered and wary now and not sure how else I can represent the Tower.]
Feel a bit deflated at not getting any good stuff in the tower itself. Bit of a prat as you need permission to use images from inside, I should have got permission and taken the tri-pod to get the ballroom etc properly. Sometimes my own fear and nervousness costs me dearly! Still - its the tower as a landmark I came here to capture and I hope I've done that OK.
Feel a bit pushed for time too. If I can get to Newcastle today, shoot it Wednesday, travel to Edinburgh Thursday and shoot it Friday and then go to Hannah's mums for Saturday or Sunday to drive home Monday ready for school Tuesday!!!
Its a shame I don't have longer so I could do a second trip to all these places as often the re-visit is more productive.

04/04/07:

10:45 - Thats more like it! Sitting in the sun under the watchfull gaze of the Angel of the North.
Blackpool was interesting and everything but sitting here is one of those moments when I know why I am a photographer and I know this project is interesting!
Yesterday, for one of the first times, photography felt like my job. An early start, shooting from about 9 till about 5 - it was hard work, especially as the Tower proved harder to photograph than I envisaged. A good job mind, I aint complaining.
It got to a point where Blackpool was doing my head in and so at about half 4 I decided to drive to Newcastle ready to get a full day at the Angel. the drive was spectacular, accross the lake district and the pennines. Original rugged picturesque - rolling gnarly hills, small fields penned in with proper stone walls and more open space than I have ecer experienced in the UK before, it was beautiful.
I stopped for the night in Clitheroe area, in a pub car park actually! I asked if it were ok and they were fine provided a pint was bought and that pint was the most satisfying drink I've ever had due to it being such a long day! Really looking forward to today.

12:11 - Some days, I am just a lucky bastard! Everything comes together by chance and a potentially great picture is the result!
I was shooting the Angel from a nearby estate when I saw a helicopter going rather near the sculpture. I dahsed back and low and behold a helicopter in the field right next to the Angel. Its a promotion of an air ambulance by the look of it, complete with press and a crowd - all in the shadow of the angel! What better chance for an unconventional and unique image of this landmark. Fluke and luck freak me out sometimes! Too much good fortune for one day.

13:08 - The helicopter excitement is over! It has taken off and left us. It was called Harold I think! Heard a few people call it that. What a shit name for a helicopter - its not very hard is it? (sorry to any Harolds!).
It was rather funny all in all - amuzing how excited people get by choppers. I was more interested in a bloke and his toddler, Peter. All Peter wanted to do was play, all Dad wanted to do was take photographs with hilarious consequences of the kid running amock whilst his father shouted at him and issued hollow threats like "I'll take you home!". No you wont, your more excited about seeing it take off than Peter is.
So, whats more fascinating and visually appealing to see - a huge amazing sculpture...or a huge amazing helicopter. Tough call, tough call.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Diaries of a photographer (and a van)...Part 10

28/03/07

14:44 - Sitting in a lovely services on the M5, near Taunton, on route to Cornwall to right the wrongs of my out of focus fiasco there last time.
Drove to Cardiff yesterday and shot the Millenium Stadium. I think the stadium may turn out to be the weak link (landmark) in my chain (project on landmarks). First, they refused me access to shoot inside it, some crap about being busy and getting lots of requests. Then the outside is nowt to write hgome about - bet all the Welsh asked in the sruvey about landmarks nominated it out of national pride!
Went back there first thing today - but still not inspired. What can you do with a stadium? Still tried to make the best of it and capture the architecture in noivel ways, we shall see. Should pop my optomist hat on again, its a snug fit after all.
Stayed in a campsite in the city centre. Arrived late again so had to park up anyway and had no toilet access as I didn't have the code!
This morning the warden came to see me and looked bemused and confused but was friendly enough. Get this - he charged me £5 and put it in the charity box, which says it all about caravaners attitude to me and the Guf! We got glorified tent rates as were obviously not worthy of being classed as a motorhome.
I'm not a racists (that means I am), but here is some stuff regarding the Welsh:

• They are not really tourist friendly! They signpost nothing so finding things is impossible. Plus it took an hour to find a postcard...IN A CITY CENTRE! Badly set up for outsiders is Wales.
• They have more short skirts on innapropriate women per capita than any other country.
• They cahrged me £10.20 to go over the bridge into Wales! Whilst I am not a motorhome apparantly, they class me as a light goods vehicle for the toll!
• They have more street drinkers than Brighton.

Hadn't been back since Dave and co graduated and it was off to see places I used to go when visiting.

So, the safety of Cornwall awaits! Should be a nicer experience I wager. thats if I get there - diesel is running low and the cash machine refused me £ and I have no clue why! Lets hope its a temporary error, or I am going to be stuck somewhere!

29/03/07

12:13 - I think I am an Eden Project jinx or something. So far I have done one film and again the light has gone too crap to make any photos. Its pelting with hail and grey as Skeletor! So I have to sit it out and hope it brightens up enough.

A duck just waddled past me though which does make things somewhat better.

After some searching, found a nice stop yesterday. It was a large car park (not so nice), but in a really lovely, classic Cornish fishing village. Went to the local pub and had a pint of ale accompanied by lasagne and chips. Classic.

The tavern was proper local - the smell of cheap cologne, fish and ale festering in the air. There were fisherman and everything (identifiable by their special boots that onlt they are allowed to wear). I even overheard conversations debating the merits of different kinds of duck! Lovely stuff. Was nice to sit amongst others, I even watched England v Andora with them and joined in the comminal grunting. As predicted, Cornish are much more hospitable than the Welsh! Even had a nice chat with the bearded car park warden this morning - who actively encouraged my van dwelling!

Not sure what to do now, its too dark and grey and no ease up on the horizon. I guess I just sit and wait it out. Perhaps a cream tea?

30/03/07:

11:34 - Just seen one of the most dapper old ladies I have seen in a long time! Pin stripe suit, fem brogues, gloves and greenish patterned silk scalf - she had it going on!

Just at Exeter services to re-fuel myself and the guf, with coffee and Diesel respectively. On the long journey back home after what was possible my most challenging shoot so far (I always say that though!).

I hope Eden went OK in the end, I was there for 5 or 6 hours, which must bring my total shooting time for there alone to nearly 15 hours - so to say I was running out of ideas and was getting bored is an understatement. Still, it was proper busy this time so I hope the shots inside will proove to be fruity as muma's best pie.

Had a bit of a mission to find a good park up yesterday evening. As it was my last night on the road, I fancied a spot with a good sea view. As I had eaten lasagne and apple crumble at Eden I didn't need a big evenng meal so was free to stay away from civilisation.

I ended up hooning it to Widemouth Bay on the North Coast. The info I had from the wild camping website was wrong but persistance paid off and I found a layby on a really quiet road atop the cliff over looking the bay. It was stunning and a good night was had, complete with a cliff top spliff as the sun went down. Campsites are handy and all* but staying somewhere like that is what having a self contained sleeping vehicle is all about!

When I was getting my meal at Eden, a middle aged woman came up and asked if she could get fresh tea - for free - as her hubby (good rhyming) had put salt in it by accident! A) what a tit! B) What a wimp for getting his wife to sort it. More evidence of how lame that age man is. Reminds me of Goz making tea after homelands - should have been the greatest thing ever but he put salt in it and ruined my life.

I hate services. Everyone flocking to Burger King like its the first meal they have had in years. Idiots. Then they eat in there, I always come back to the car as its less offensive. Services just remind me of Peter Kay!

I like coffee.

15:33 - Shit on me I am tired of driving now. Made it to Southampton so doing OK, but done 730 odd miles so far this trup and looking forward to spending time in a house.

So I did my first outdoor shit yesterday! Lovely stuff, reminded me of being a kid! Of course blokes usually get to stand when doing their business outside, so squatting was a novely - now I know what its like for the ladies...hard on the thighs thats what. I bet skiers are good at it! Incidentally, why, considering we call it 'dog mess' do we not go to have a mess? It would be much funnier "excuse me a minute, for I have to go and mess'.

Saw some raodkill in action earlier. First 'live' incident I have seen in years. Pheasant it was, battered it was. How come roadkill always has the strenght to make it to the curb after being hit?

The tape converted for my MP3 player is going wrong - so mostly stuck with the radio. Its enfuriating. Kind of addicvive too though and I have worked out their plan! Tkae Radio 1 for example, some 40sih songs on the playlist and say around 5 are good. You listen, eagerly waiting for a good tune and as your getting bored you realise you can't switch station, or your investment of waiting for a good tune is wasted. Eventually you are rewarded and then figure they are bound to play one of the other 4 good songs soon, so you listen on and get trapped in the cycle again. Its their master plan. Bit like watching Big Brother for that 1 good bit!

Forgot to mention some Cornish rude boys hung out at my spot for hours last night. Like dog walkers, they always find the best spots! I just hid in the Guf till they went ;)

* Whenever I write 'and all' I think I am being Holden Cauldfield and it angers me!