Grumpy ticket inspectors

I oft get the train to work.

Its a short ride from London Road (Brighton) to Moulsecoomb.

Its costs £1.30 or so, but none the less I obviously try and avoid always paying the fare.

Its a technical game, you have to choose your position on the platform and hope the inspector is not on the carriage you are about to board. If not, you are usually safe as they don't get much time to check tickets in the 3 minutes it takes to complete the ride.

If you watch the train as it comes into the station you can sometimes spot the inspector and make sure you are not getting on their carriage.

But, sometimes, often, I get on the carriage they are on and then, fair game I pay. Sometimes I get a ticket anyway just to keep things fair.

Today, I didn't pre-buy and got on the carriage with the inspector so asked him for my ticket. I apologised as I only had a twenty sheets note on me. he was a grumpy inspector and was a right mutter. One of his mutterings was something along the lines of "yeah right...skint students" when I handed him the twenty!

I felt like saying:

"Well I wouldn't say I am skint but I am certainly not rich. I am on my way to work as a matter of fact and I work 8 or 12 hours a week to keep myself in the black. I also work for the vast majority of my holidays full time and so probably don't get much more time off than you. What is more, I am going to be nearly £15,000 in debt by the time I finish my course, which means I have a long way to go of paying it off before you could dare say I was rich, well off or even reasonably comfortable. The reason for the twenty is I have just been to the bank as have been walking round with little or no cash recently to avoid spending it. In actual fact I have had to pay out a lot recently for various things like a new tyre on my van (which I barely afforded in the first place). In fact I am really not very flush at all at the moment and am having to make sure I don't spend out too much or I will run out of cash, and in the final year of a photography degree that would be disaster given that its probably one of the most expensive courses you can do given all the materials you need etc. I am very careful with money and pay all my loans and wages into one account and then transfer a modest sum into another account each month which then acts as my monthly allowance to live from. I certainly don't have a pile of twenties in my pocket or anywhere else, it just happened that thats what the cash machine gave me. OK...you fat, grumpy old fuck? Don't take it out on me that you have a shite job you clearly hate and you have decided to blame all that hatred on students given you are working the line that students frequent to get too and from college. I am sorry to have wasted your time and offended you so completely, I shall raise the matter with the bank and ensure they only issue fivers in the future so you wont think I am flushed with money ever again. May you rot in hell"

I didn't say that though. I just said nothing and harbored my resentment until I could flex my literary muscles on the blog of truth.

Pretty deer hunting baby

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.Let me love you.


HURRAH!

You have to shout the bit when it gets to 'I love you, baby'

Its probably the longest running song to be stuck in my head. I think it happened after watching The Deer Hunter, when they sing it whilst drunk from drinking Rolling Rock and lying on the pool table before going to 'Nam!

Ever since then (circa 99) its been stuck in my head.

Along with Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer and Jingle Bells. They never leave the head domain.

I reckon a D&B produced should do a modern version of Jingle Bells called...

....


....


....wait for it...


.....


....

JUNGLE BELLS!

AH HA HA HA HA HA.

I'm gonna do it.

Pudding pirates?

I was in The Vault today, my photo lab that does all me processing and alike.

There was a nice old granny in there at the same time. Beige mac, wooly hat sitting atop a tight head scalf , crazy broach, the works.

On the side of her hat there was a rather large white badge, with an odd cartoon drawing on it. Around the edge of the badge it read:

"I've seen the Christmas Cat and the Pudding Pirates"

How brilliant is that?

I did some research as I was curious and THIS is what its all about.

I must admit I was slightly dissapointed at how lame the explanation was. I guess that will teach me to poke my nose in when it isn't wanted. Curiosity killed the Christmas Cat after all!

The umbrella walk

Has anyone else noticed that if someone (normally a chap) is walking along with a closed umbrella, they have to do the umbrella walk?

Its that walk where they flick the umbrella up and forward, it then makes contact with the ground and stays rooted there until it is slighly behind said chap, at which point the lift and flick happens again.

I like the umbrella walk, it makes me laugh. I think it was started by the suits in London but I can't be sure.

Its hard to walk with an umbrella and not do the walk.

The only other device that cuases this phenominon is a walking stick, where much the same principal is applied.

Child security

I like the way kids have absolutely no insecurity over acting like prats, up to a certain age at least!

They say and do what they want, play silly games in public with no sign of embarasement even if they are being watched, talked about or sniggered at.

Then, we hit adolesance and suddenly it all goes tits. We worry about our image, our actions, not fitting in with the norm and all that jazz. Of course, some brave souls go against the norms and I SALUTE YOU. But most of us, to some extent or another conform constantly so as not to make ourselves stick out like a plum.

What made me think of this was whilst walking through Preston Park last evensong. A small boy was balancing along the wall by the sad looking bowling greens and singing a song that went something like this:

"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15"

I was impressed, he could count with the best of them. I slowed my pace as I thought I may be able to learn from this bright young thing.

"18,20,21,22,28"

So he slipped a bit, but the numbers were getting big, far beyond the comprehension of a young lad, I was not angered or upset. I figured I would see how he progressed...

"28, 39, 28, 39, 38, 28, 39, 29, 38, 29, 38, 29, 28, 29, 38, 39, 28, 39, 28, 39, 39, 28, 39, 28, 29, 38,29, 38!

And so he went on and on and on. Stuck in some kind of crazy maths feedback loop. It was very amusing and whats more it made quite a good tune as he maintained such a steady rhythem, the guy obviously had talent.

But what I thought was fair play child, you make rubbish songs out of numbers and you can't count, but it doens't enter your head that you might be making a fool of yourself (which obviously he wasn't), you just go about your business in your own little world.

If that was a teen, they would not have sung in public like that in the first place and certainly would have stopped if they had seen me!

The exception to this rule of older kids making a fool out of themselves and not caring is the might of the air guitar.

This is one of my favourate things to spot, its not that common, but if you pay attention you will see it more than you would think. The scene is teens and alike of the new young rock brigade. You know the sorts, very tight trousers, chequered daps and probably a black jumper or hoody. They walk along headphones in ears and dramatically air guitar in the street as the walk along! They are very detailed with their hand positions too, so obviously know what they are doing and practicing! Genius. Perhaps because its music related they can get away with it? If I air equationed in the street, everyone would think I was a crazed maths obsessed idiot! Which I am not.

Blog, Smog. I Can't lay no blog

So been a little while.

My last post seems like an age ago.

Been a bit busy, had to finish the Shit for the draft hand in last week. Thats now done, lovely stuff. All 10,200 words of it. Still was over the word count, but what are you gonna do? Word has spread through my entire course that I wrote 12,000 words and everyone thinks I am strange. No change there then. What is strange is how quickly word spread! Students eh?

So been having a sebatical from shitting. Can't be bothered to write more at the monent (or write less should I say). Saw my SPAG SPAZ tutor who went through it with a red pen and I just can't face the changes...seeing him again next week so better do it at some point I guess!

Got my stuff through from the dyslexia support bods. A rather nice G5 Imac in all its 20" glory. Its been less than a week and I am a Mac convert almost! I can see why people get so addicted as they are just much nicer machines to use, partly as they are so snazzily designed and partly because when you get used to them, they just work better and more logically. Never thought I would see that day...sorry P.C's and all that! I am sure half my excitement is just that its new, shiny and about a billion times more powerful than the last heap of crap I have used for the last 5 years.

Finally got the tyre replaced on the Guf, so thats all good. Its going in for a mini service tomorrow as I figure its probably wise to get it running good before embarking on any big missions. The next job is boarding the back and getting a mattress in there - then there will be no stopping us.

Since handing the shit Mki in, I have been mostly doing stuff for a review of work at the end of this week. Basically it involves showing 5 slides of our work to date and chatting shit about them for 15 minutes in front of all the tutors and other students...who then give us feedback. I don't mind, except I don't have much to show at the moment! Bit pointless doing it at this time of year if you ask me.

So, there is the update.

We are glad its out the way as now I can go about doing pointless posts and ranty rambles, which is how I like it. More later, but now...STICK CRICKET...

Two things from today.

1) I was walking past some of the council flats near the police station. The one in question is opposite the Milner buildings ("Police in Milner" thats one for you Dave ;) ). Said building has a car park bit underneath it. As I walked past what could I hear? The sound of bag pipes thats what. It appears a bagpiper was playing in the car park for no apparant reason! Perhaps they have good acoustics.
I hate the bag pipes, but I didn't tell them so.

2) Walking down Rose Hill Terrace on my way home I overheard three women chatting about cranes! They had a good view of a crane over New England House way. They were debating the fact you never see cranes move, which, I would like top point out is rubbish. I often see them move and I enjoy it.
However, what I wanted to report to you was the jelousy I experienced as I overheard one of the wenches say:
"I have seen a crane with a demolition ball destroying a building"
What a cow! Thats one of my ambitions, along with seeing a building blown up. I always wanted to see a building on fire and luckily I got to see one a few years back. A squat in the North laines I believe. Nobody was hurt so I was safe to enjoy it without feeling guilty!

Diaries of a photographer part 4

6/11/06

11:00 - Come to the marina in Brighton today. Been a bit obsessed with it for a while as its a strange place. Feels out of sorts with brighton and almost like it was picked up and dropped here as one big ready made unit!
Its very photographic too. Lots of sea, cliffs, boats, sky and then hige modern constructions nesling up to the sea and rocks behing. A perfect symbol of man overcoming nature.

My plan is to follow the sea road to Newhaven stopping at the towns etc on route. Been quite distracted by the marina so far so not sure how far I will get.
What a lovely day too - feels like summer, especially with the waves lapping against the walls and the birds singing.
Boats in dry dock look funny - FACT!

12:11 - Back in the Guf in Asda carpark having a banana.
Asda freaks me out. Its huge, sells everything, its full of odds and it has its own radion station! Whats that all about.
The marina prooved a worthy subject, I could do a whole project here. It feels like such an alien place to me and why its so desirable, I will never know.

13:41 - Made it down to Saltdean as I wanted to check out the Lido. its a strange place, crazy art deco building right by the road and a tiny little pool of water.
Come to have my lunch on the beach. The only other time I have been to this stretch of beach was for a free party years ago. Seems quite a desolate place in the light of day. A few walkers and sun bathers, but its generally quite sparse. Guess I will head up the coast a bit on foot and see what I can see.

14:55 - Saltdean is good!
I am quite into non-descript seaside towns and villages at the moment especially at this time of year, they are full of promise but feel strangely bleak and lonely places.
It's full of views where you can see the sea and cliffs on one side and the downs the other with this town slapped in between the two. Tried to take some sort of dual shots where one half is a traditional landscape and the other is a modern town or human interference.

Hopefully the results will be better than the last few times, might call it a day as I don't want to jinx muself again. Need some results!

I don't like cricket...no no...I love it...

I am not one for computer games.

However, sometimes when I am working here in the library I need a break from doing my work or school work or whatever.

Sometimes my break is in the form of going to get a Kit Kat.

Sometimes it is perusing the internet.

Sometimes it is playing the odd game on Channel4.com's game section. Its a big fat list of online games, which can be a lot of fun as are as basic as the old skool games I used to remember playing when I was a nipper. Seeing as I haven't played a computer game since the turn of the century, I sometimes get a bit obsessed by one of these online games.

My current time wasting obsession is stick cricket.

Its fun. Look:

http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/games/review.jsp?id=1424

Dramatic irony and jinxing!

I used to have a teacher obsessed with Dramatic Irnony, he loved it.
I never loved it, I thought it was too dramatic and too ironic.

However, last week when I took photos in the forest, dramatic irony occured. And in the grander scheme of things, I am jinxed!

See, in my diary entries from the last photo shoot, I went on about how some days as just meant to be and everything falls into place. I was pleased with my days work and felt the photos I had taken would be good.

I picked them up on Friday and it seems my light meter is buggered and so all the films were massively under exposed and are unusable! How ironic and how annoying.

I then thought about every time I have gone to take pictures so far and realised I am jinxed! Someone is telling me not to do this project or testing me at least! So far the following has happenhed:

1) Walked the wrong way down a river so didn't go to the places I intended too. Ended up having to go cross country and back track just to get home. The photos were all rubbish.
2) Went to a beach and the weather was so windy my tri-pod must have been blown about so all the shots are slightly out of focussed or blurred. Plus they were not exposed properly (first signs of light meter failing). All in all, the pictures were rubbish.
3) Went out on a multiple jaunt to various places and my camera wouldn't cock the shutter properly, so had to come home and fix it. Its fixed, but all the shots were rubbish.
4) Went to the woods and had a flat tyre and spent an hour fixing it as the nuts were on too tight to undo. Then had a good day but my light meter isn't working so all the photos are so washed out the negs can't be used. All in all, good photos (some of them) but rubbish as unusable.

Whats going on!!!

In other news, the Shit is going quite well. The first draft is due in Tuesday week and needs to be at least half word length. My problem is that I am writing so much its going to be between 2 and 4 thousand words over the limit! Arghghgh!

Diaries of a photographer part 3

2/11/06

13.21 - I am up at Tilgate Forest today, just below the beast of Crawley and very near to peas Pottage. Coincidentally Peas Pottage is one of my favourate local place names. Isn't Peas Pottage a dish? If so what the hell is Pottage and do you get any other forms of Pottage?
Perhaps I will ask at the Burger King at the services.

Took a while to get going today. The Guf was handling like an odd - so I stopped by Preston Park and my rear right tyre was a pancake. One of the nuts was so rusted I had to walk home for a socket set as the thing in the van was not good enough. I also invested in WD40, knowing it is the cure for all things mechanical.

I am here now and choose the forest due to its locaton sitting on the borders of Crawley and straddled by and A23 and M23. It seemed like a good possible locatioon to explore marginal space and the picturesque being invaded by modern construction. So far...it has please me! I am feeling more confident here than in the last 3 locations I have been too. Lots of roads, railways, pylons, pone masts and such like. Perhaps the key to the project is to focus on these more obvious signs of industrialisation whilst being aware of classic landscape aesthetics?
Just sitting down to lunch - my favourate part of the walks! Each day is like a picnic.

Got the hound with me today and she is proving a worthy companion.
She sniffs and I shoot.
Plus she doesn't talk but listens politely to my walking babble...of which there is plenty.

14.22 - Just went over the footbridge over the motorway and realised I have been here before. On one of my railway walks. Got to a golf course and reckognised it immediately due to its strange location. As usual it was rife with middle aged and retired middle class men slogging balls about. I can see the appeal I guess!
Other than that people traffic has been sparse, the normal dog walkers and cyclists.

During the railway project, I was not sure what I was photographing, I was just interest in the route I took. Now I have a slightly clearer idea and resisting taking photos of the beauty or landscape or homing in too obviously on the negative sides is a challenge. However, I am just trying to be more selective when I go to take a shot.
The forest feels very English whenever I am in one.
I wish I was Robin Hood.

I think having a car and being able to concentrate on one area is beneficial. Before I had to walk the 8 miles or so from A to B and fit photos in along the way. Here I can be more selective of an area and explore it more and re-visit it easier.
I think I will turn right now...

15.41 - I think that some days are destined to be good for photography and others are just doomed from the outset. Last week my walks were not very productive. I saw little to inspire, or, if I did - I didn't successfully work out how to photograph it.
Today however, despite the initial annoyances and problems, things have fallen into place. I found plenty to inspire and photograph and hopefully there will be some sucessfull shots. At the very least I hope to be able to analyse what I was drawn to more and develop that.

When I was nearly back to the van I followed a very overgrown, narrow path. It emerged at the base of a small hillock and on looking to its summit I noticed it was another bike track. I recognised it straight away as one I had photographed before on a railway walk when I had approached it from another direction. This time, I had a new gaze at it so I set about making an image. I was about to release the shutter when I noticed the track was actually being used by mountain bikers. Finally over 6 months from seeing my first (on many!) tracks - I saw one in use and even managed to get a few shots whilst the riders were unaware. Thats why some fays are clearly meant to be as everything falls into place at the exact right moment.

I also walked past a snaped tree, leaning on its neighbours and I remembered it from before. Funny how I can recall a tree but not someones name!

Crane but not forgotten

Most mornings I let Meg into the garden (she doesn't stay) and at the same time I make use of the opportunity to have a gander over the wall and see what the world is doing that day.

The extra benefit is the view stretches out to New England House and I can see the cranes working on the new 'quarter' of Brighton they are building there. The cranes move and I like it.

Today, the cranes are gone. Where once there was two, now there is just a blue backdrop.

It saddens me. I guess it means another set of work there is nearly complete. I liked the cranes and I don't like the new buildings. Therefore, I have been hard done by.

Maff, any views, did you see the cranes being taken down? (thats one of the most exciting things you can see).

In fact, when Me and H were on our way to the Boot Sale on Sunday last (minimal purchases made I am afraid Boot Sale fans), we saw a crane being removed. Have I already talked about this? I can't remember.

I like cranes...have I said that before ;)

CRANES.

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Bags.

Just been to the supermarket, Sainsbury's to be precise.

Being fairly eco-concious and trying to cut down on my wastage and general bad mouthing of mother nature, I take a ruc sac and cloth bags to take my shopping home in.

After reading something Maff wrote about the amount of plastic Sainsburys use on bags and packaging, I have also stopped using the little clear bags that you put fruit and veg in.

Most times I get to the till, the cashier asks me:

"Were there no bags up there"

To which I reply:

"Yes, but I am trying to use less plastic, I am sorry it makes it harder for you doesn't it!"

To which they reply:

".........."

Thats no reply by the way...its just a bit of an annoyed look they level at me!

Ah well, who said saving the world was going to be easy and your efforts would be embraced by the masses! If only Maff was my check out dolly, he would have congratulated me on my efforts.