Knee high to a bumper car.

Hannahs mate Sam is staying with us for a few days, with her mate Lisa and Sam's 8 year old daughter Jas(min).

Its been fun, they are all very nice and entertaining people. Jas is a child genius, in the sense she is a proper child, none of your trying to be old crap.

The only down side of having them staying is having to talk to a small child first thing in the morning. I am an idiot in the mornings and maintaining the patience was a little trying, but ultimately Jas is a cool kid and very funny so you can't be annoyed.

Anyway, yesterday, I met them after work at the beach and Jas wanted to go to the Pier more than anything to go on the Ghost Train.

I hate the pier, but I agreed to go obviously otherwise I would have been a git. When I got on the pier I actually had fun! I felt ashamed.

We raced on the dolphin derby and I won! HURRAH FOR ME.

We then went to the Ghost train, but I was too scared...I mean Jas was too scared to go on it. Then we spied the bumper cars. Jas was too small to go on it alone so her and Hannah teamed up against me. We paid our fascist £2 each and entered our machines.

Nerves were high, engines and hearts racing, the smell of burnt rubber and flesh in the air...the strange man who operated it announced the start and we were off! The bumping was so intense crowds flocked to see what was happening. I was clearly winning due to my advanced driving skills. BUT THEN...DISASTER...a full blown hit to my side, no mercy. I span out of control and careered into the cars parked at the edge. A sharp pain jarred through my leg but adrenaline kept me going and my foot hit the accelerator hard to get a few last bumps and grinds in before the end. Soon, it was over. In a last ditch effort of glory I aimed my car at the back of Jas and Hannah's beast and allowed the car to ram them from the rear as the power drained from the ride. It was a good hit. I felt good.

I unstrapped myself and got out and then saw the blood gushing out of my knee (I didn't). I felt the pain though and realised my girlfriend and an 8 year old girl who was too scared to go on a ghost train had driven so viciously they had injured me! Outrageous.

Of course, I don't blame them, I blame myself for showing too much mercy.

My knee really does hurt though, my dreams of a career as a professional bumper car racer are over.

When we got home we found the latch on the door had fallen down some how and we were locked out, so I had to go tonext doorr, ask to go into their garden, climb their wall into our garden and break in. In the process I managed to knock my knee twice again! What a buffoon.

The lesson of the tale though is stick with your instincts and never go on the pier as its rubbish (even though I did enjoy it that time).

Why I oughta...